How selfish should we be?

       Let's admit it... We all tend to be selfish sometimes. But if I were being brutally honest, I'd say it's our right as individuals desperate to realize one's aspirations. Besides our faith, our dreams are the only thing we can own. It is immune to persuasion and intimidation. We cannot lose them for as long as we want to keep them.

       So the question now is - how selfish should we really be in getting what we want?

       I know people who'd gone great lengths to realize their dreams, sometimes even in expense of their peers. They'd utilized tricks like defamation and blackmail, to name a few. Others had gone as far as manipulation and deceit. While observers try to rationalize these people's motivations and subsequent actions, I usually just go back to a humane principle I've always tried to live with despite immense difficulty to uphold: Selfishness for oneself should harm no one but the self.

       I pity those who'd gone too far beyond the limits imposed by morality. Even though what we aspire for would seem to make us whole, no one deserves to get hurt. To win by breaking this rule is not victory at all.

       Right now, if you were to ask yourself, are you one of these people who play by their own rules? 

       I know I am. And maybe that's why I still haven't forgiven myself.

1st

Photo not mine

     For some time now I've had feelings in my chest that needed to come out, and since everyone around me has been very busy getting on with their lives there's pretty much nobody I could talk to. Probably in this blog there wouldn't be anyone either, but my thoughts need an outlet so WTH. I'm letting whoever comes across this be my confidant... my person.

***

     I am male, 22, single and hoping for love. I've had my share of flings here and there but what I've never experienced is an actual commitment with somebody. My undying need to love and be loved back has never been met so despite all the people around me I still feel isolated and left out. Sure, friends and food come in handy when I'm alone, but do they really make up for what I don't have?

     I was always somebody who waited to get noticed and never made the first move. Putting myself out there was not my forte, and even though at times I had urges to take the lead, I chickened out and retreated. Shy with a tinge of shame is how I would describe it. I know there isn't anything to be embarrassed about, but something in me tells me finding love shouldn't be like that. Perhaps it's principles, but it can also be a lack of self-esteem.

     With my identity concealed here, I feel more comfortable now. This blog is not about flaunting and trying to be noticed but rather about a first in series of steps I need to take to establish self-awareness... and hopefully in the process, to find someone I could share valuable insights about life and love with.

     Forgive me if this makes no sense but I guess this is a reflection of how confused I am right now. As much as I want to make sense of how I feel, this is all I could give at the moment. But to say that writing this was a time I wasted would be incorrect, as I feel a little better now than how I felt while filling out the blog details while registering. And I guess that's what matters. =)

    To you, whoever you are (preferably a cute, single guy LOL), thank you for wasting some time with me. And please do more from time to time. ^_^