Thursday, February 3, 2011


Photo not mine
     For some time now I've had feelings in my chest that needed to come out, and since everyone around me has been very busy getting on with their lives there's pretty much nobody I could talk to. Probably in this blog there wouldn't be anyone either, but my thoughts need an outlet so WTH. I'm letting whoever comes across this be my confidant... my person.


     I am male, 22, single and hoping for love. I've had my share of flings here and there but what I've never experienced is an actual commitment with somebody. My undying need to love and be loved back has never been met so despite all the people around me I still feel isolated and left out. Sure, friends and food come in handy when I'm alone, but do they really make up for what I don't have?

     I was always somebody who waited to get noticed and never made the first move. Putting myself out there was not my forte, and even though at times I had urges to take the lead, I chickened out and retreated. Shy with a tinge of shame is how I would describe it. I know there isn't anything to be embarrassed about, but something in me tells me finding love shouldn't be like that. Perhaps it's principles, but it can also be a lack of self-esteem.

     With my identity concealed here, I feel more comfortable now. This blog is not about flaunting and trying to be noticed but rather about a first in series of steps I need to take to establish self-awareness... and hopefully in the process, to find someone I could share valuable insights about life and love with.

     Forgive me if this makes no sense but I guess this is a reflection of how confused I am right now. As much as I want to make sense of how I feel, this is all I could give at the moment. But to say that writing this was a time I wasted would be incorrect, as I feel a little better now than how I felt while filling out the blog details while registering. And I guess that's what matters. =)

    To you, whoever you are (preferably a cute, single guy LOL), thank you for wasting some time with me. And please do more from time to time. ^_^


Kane said...

"My undying need to love and be loved back has never been met..."

Ahhh, youth indeed. Always in a hurry. One day you will look back at this entry and perhaps you will feel differently by then =)


Bored and understimulated said...

Hi Kane,

OMG can't believe it's you! Haha. Na star-struck ako :))

I dunno why I'm in a hurry, really. :)) But yeah, someday I'll look back at this and probably just laugh at how desperate I was.

BTW, big fan of your blog! Sorry I forgot to follow you. So glad you're back from being MIA! hehe.

Thanks for dropping by :D


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