Wednesday, February 9, 2011

All I Gave You Was Goodbye


Music has been my constant companion and even though the world has changed so much, our relationship stayed the same. I have been singing for as long as I could speak... and haven't stopped since. Through the lessons provided by songs, which are practically bits and pieces of other people's lives, I learned how to live mine. Everyone I ever knew would someday leave, but I know in my heart music never would.

Which brings me to you, the only person I was never true to about myself...  even if you were the only one I ever loved.


Yes, I was that cruel. And because of that, you ran away... not on your own, but with someone else. You didn't even look back even if you knew I wanted you to.

We were still in school when this happened so encounters were impossible to avoid, but in those rare moments I had with you, I never had the courage to tell you how sorry I was that night I drove you out the door.

But even if you knew, would it still matter? I already lost you. No reset button for that one.


Three years after, I came across this song and all of a sudden, I found my heart filling up with thoughts of you. Not of love, per se, but more of the memory of what we had. I wanted to sing you this hoping I could put some closure on my end. You liked my voice anyway.

But I know it won't happen. And I know you won't listen. But if we meet again, I won't care. This is something you need to know.

Taylor Swift
Back To December

I'm so glad, you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family.
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever.
We small talk, work and the weather.
Your guard is up and I know why.

Coz the last time you saw me still burned in the back of my mind.
You gave me roses but I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you,
Saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I realized what I had when you were mine.
And I go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.


These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up, playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed, I didn't call.
And when I think about summer all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing on the passenger side, and realized I loved you in the fall.
But when the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind,
You gave me all your love but all I gave you was goodbye.

So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you,
Saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I realized what I had when you were mine.
And I go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile,
So good to me, so right.
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
the first time you ever saw me cry.
Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.
I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door, I understand.


So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you,
Saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I realized what I had when you were mine.
And I go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around, and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time.

:-(


To music and to Taylor Swift, thank you for putting melody and lyrics to my voiceless heart.

2 comments:

Nishiboy said...

you should sing. =)

Bored and understimulated said...

waah someday. ^_^ wala pa akong magandang equipment saka nakakahiya e.. :)(I KNOW, EXCUSES! Hehe)

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