An unfinished song to an unfinished love story

I love writing song lyrics when I'm depressed. I usually get in the mood after midnight, when most people in whatever time zone I am in are asleep. Not that I'm nocturnal that way, but maybe it's after this time (when all my feelings, no matter how bitter and morbid, are at bay) that I get to reflect on my life experiences. However, in the 5 or so songs I've made, none ever felt worthy of sharing. Perhaps it's insecurity talking but I'm guessing they're still not good enough. Maybe I need to get my heart broken a few more times to harness  more the potential brilliant banters and ideas in my head.


Months ago, however, I started scribbling words on Notepad and before I knew it, I had a few usable lines. But despite spending 5 hours on it, I never got to finish it. It's about someone I really like, and I wanted to show this to him on Valentine's Day. Hopefully I'd get this done before dawn coz I have some serious business to attend to in the morning. I certainly can't do it during the day; there's just too many interruptions.

In honor of tomorrow's love fest, I'm sharing some lines in the chorus of this unnamed song. I hope you like it, and ultimately, I hope he loves it.

"Am hoping you're ready for love coz it has been ready for you
When you kissed me in your car that day, at that moment, I just knew
One arm on the stirring wheel, the other pulling me towards you
With eyes closed, lips locked, for the first time, I felt your heart spoke true
You love me but all this feeling was to you, so new.
Even so, hear me baby; I know you'll make it through
And I will absolutely, patiently, be waiting for you."

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!

All I Gave You Was Goodbye

Music has been my constant companion and even though the world has changed so much, our relationship stayed the same. I have been singing for as long as I could speak... and haven't stopped since. Through the lessons provided by songs, which are practically bits and pieces of other people's lives, I learned how to live mine. Everyone I ever knew would someday leave, but I know in my heart music never would.

Which brings me to you, the only person I was never true to about myself...  even if you were the only one I ever loved.


Yes, I was that cruel. And because of that, you ran away... not on your own, but with someone else. You didn't even look back even if you knew I wanted you to.

We were still in school when this happened so encounters were impossible to avoid, but in those rare moments I had with you, I never had the courage to tell you how sorry I was that night I drove you out the door.

But even if you knew, would it still matter? I already lost you. No reset button for that one.


Three years after, I came across this song and all of a sudden, I found my heart filling up with thoughts of you. Not of love, per se, but more of the memory of what we had. I wanted to sing you this hoping I could put some closure on my end. You liked my voice anyway.

But I know it won't happen. And I know you won't listen. But if we meet again, I won't care. This is something you need to know.

Taylor Swift
Back To December

I'm so glad, you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family.
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever.
We small talk, work and the weather.
Your guard is up and I know why.

Coz the last time you saw me still burned in the back of my mind.
You gave me roses but I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you,
Saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I realized what I had when you were mine.
And I go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.


These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up, playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed, I didn't call.
And when I think about summer all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing on the passenger side, and realized I loved you in the fall.
But when the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind,
You gave me all your love but all I gave you was goodbye.

So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you,
Saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I realized what I had when you were mine.
And I go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile,
So good to me, so right.
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
the first time you ever saw me cry.
Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.
I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door, I understand.


So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you,
Saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I realized what I had when you were mine.
And I go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around, and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time.

:-(


To music and to Taylor Swift, thank you for putting melody and lyrics to my voiceless heart.

Hold on tight and never let go

Music is universal. And even though we are divided by the language we speak, music transgresses beyond what lyrics can convey. This is through the melody, which I like to call a song's heart. And once the singer breathes life to the song, the melody-singer combo forms harmony.

Harmony is difficult to achieve because each person involved is an element. Naturally, the more elements present at the same time, the harder it is to attain balance. Having been a member of a choral group in the past, I can say that this is precisely why singing solo is much easier than singing with a group.

However, we also have duets, which to me is the trickiest. It may not be as complicated as in a choir, but when the blending is off, it won't ever work. Which is probably why we rarely see duos in the music industry - finding the voice to perfectly compliment yours is almost impossible.

But of course, there are some who defy this. Like Rob Bowlin and Chelsee Oaks. And if this weren't enough an achievement already, they used to be in love! It's music and love, two of the most beautiful things God has made for us, in one. What more could they ask for?

Kung sila pa rin hanggang ngayon, sa sobrang tindi ng tamis at cheesiness na dala nila, panigurado taob na ang world hunger!

We are just unfortunate to have found out about them only after they've broken up. But who knows, right? Love like this doesn't come around that often, if they even do at all. They should hold onto it and never let go.

At mukhang sa itsurang iyon ni Rob Bowlin, alam na alam niya to. ^_^